looking for something i've never seen.. alone and i'm inbetween...

why must everything be so complicated?!?!
i have made such a clusterfuck out of my life that i can hardly breathe. i cant wait to be done with school so i have more than five seconds to think about what i want. i miss that feeling of happiness. it has been replaced with doubt and confusion. i want things to go back to how they were but i have a sneaking suspicion that they will never be that way again. everytime i feel like i know what someone is thinking or feeling im completely wrong.
how can i be so off?
i think school is sucking out my brain and replacing it with complete frustration.
no one is ever honest and upfront despite my efforts to be that way.
why cant you just tell me what we are and save me the trouble of wondering? if its nothing i can focus on something that actually matters.
i hate that i never have any free time away from the papers and tests and readings to be with my mom or my best friend.
i hate that i cant ever get a good nights sleep without being plagued with a thousand questions.

i hate almost everything..
school..
work..
relationships..
relationshits..
bleh.....

a quarter of a century

1. get tatted up lol
2. go to disneyworld
3. graduate
4. find a job that i actually like
5. read all the shit ive bought and never read
6. find my hairspray shirt.. [like thats ever gunna happen]
7. stop being fat
8. have all the rooms in my house painted
9. go to europe
10. be in grad school

no help from ign

i wish someone could tell you if you were doing the right thing..
life would be so much easier..
or maybe there could just be a walkthrough online somewhere..
those are always so helpful..

at least i have my bo by my side..
and thats all that matters
love you best friend!!
and im not even drunk.. lol